Control
by AndThenBurnTheAshes
Summary: What can you do when they try to control you...a drabble-fic that grew into something more. TRIGGER WARNING: there is self-harm, suicide, murder, mentions of rape, generally BAD STUFF in here!
1. Cut

Well...I don't even really know what this is. Just...read it. Please.

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When the sharp edge of the knife grazed his skin, he felt a sense of relief, a sense of knowing that, while _They_ tried to control him, _They_ tried to take over his mind, _They_ tried to keep him apart from the rest of _Them_, They cannot control him at that moment, thatmomentthatmomentthatmoment when he _finally_ has control over his own Destiny, the thing that kept him runningandrunningandrunning through the Pain and Mockery and Shame that he endures, every _goddamn_ day of his _goddamn_ life, the things that he has tried to beat but _he__can'thecan'thecan't_ and it's killing him but he knows that to save both himself and everyone else he has to take control here so why not just slash the knife and-.

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...this was a prompt from a friend of mine. He wanted to have a drabble about Naruto killing himself. While abusing my penchant for runon words.

My friend is a very sick and disturbed person. I know.


	2. Run

He could only hope that the one who is chasing him is far away enough that he will not hear his sobs of terror as he runsandrunsandruns as though his life depends on it, when it _does _depend on it, his heart practically bursting through his chest and his lungs barely able to get enough air into them, his blood like lava through your veins, making him feel sluggish and slow, but he can'tcan't_can't_ stop now because he is behind him and he turned in horror to see the flash of a kunai and the faint red glow of the special powers that his family has, illuminating the tear-like scars that adorn his older brother's face, and he opens his mouth to scream out in fear and the kunai falls like-

()()()()()()()()()

Yes. I'm a bitch. I shot the canon. Deal. Honestly, I never planned on continuing Control, and now...yeah, I might do a few of these short drabble things. Just for shits 'n giggles. Control will still be labeled as complete, so you'll have to check back often if you want to see more updates.


	3. Mirror

She lifts her head from where it rests on the sink, looking at herself in the cracked and stained mirror, wishing that she could be _anybody _but herself, hating the fact that the only things anybody every remembers about her is her unnatural hair and ridiculous forehead, _knowing _that all the other kids feel lucky when they see her, relieved to know that they wouldn't be the ones to get picked on that day, because the bullies would be so busy picking on her that they won't have enough time for anyone else. Suddenly, she giggles, because she knows a way that everyone will remember her, and no one will everever_ever _forget her_, _because now she has the small pills in her hand that look like candy but taste like rotten fruit, and as her vision suddenly becomes blurry she glances back into the mirror and she finally sees that a piece of glass had been sticking out of the mirror the whole time and maybe if she pushes it back into place she could see what she really looks like with the glass in the right place and-

()()()()()()()()()

...I really had no excuse for that. I apologize profusely for anyone who hates me right now. I am planning on putting a trigger warning up at the beginning, so don't bitch to me about it.


	4. Perfect

"Such a perfect child" is all he ever hears, the words constantly surrounding him _every goddamn day _until he can't escape it, can't free himself from the words and voices that he constantlyconstantly_constantly _hears until he is ready to scream from rageandangerandfrustration because _no one will listen to him _when he says that he needs to take a break, that he needs to stop and rest, because "Oh, he doesn't need a break, when does he ever need a break," and the worst part is that _he can't do anything about it, _because his Father is in charge of him, his Father decides what he does and does not do, because he is his Perfect Son, the one that ascended so quickly to the top of the class, the one that everyone simply loves and adores and envies. But no one would expect the Perfect Son to slip and fall over the edge of the waterfall, hitting his head on the way down, dead before he hits the bottom, blood creating a thin layer over the top of the water, screams and wails echoing throughout the village when his body was finally found, bloated from the water, bits of his flesh nibbled off from the fish, his little brother vomiting from the sight when he accidentally caught sight of it.

Well, it's a good thing he has perfect balance.

Right?

Righ-


	5. Thin

She wearily lifts her head up from the toilet, wincing in disgust as the smell of her vomit reached her nose, making her want to throw up but she can'tcan't_can't _because there is nothing in her stomach left to throw up, and anyway, _he _doesn't like girls that smell like vomit and are fat and ugly and-

She retched again, but nothing comes out, and for once she is _happy _because she did something right for once, giving up on food and drink and everything, and she will _gladly _do it again because she wants him to notice her, she wants him to think her pretty and she wants him to stop looking at the stupid slut on his team, the one who seems to be getting all his attention, the attention that belongs to _her and her alone._

Looking up at the mirror, she suddenly sobs in disgust at the fatfat_fat _that seems to be hanging off of her, and it's not pretty for a girl to have so much _fat _on her so she needs to stop eating and make sure that nothing else passes her lips or else _he _might see her and look away in disgust _again _and she couldn't _bear _to see him look at the pink-haired slut like she was prettyandbeautifuland_everythingsheshouldbe _because she is morepretty and morebeautiful than she _ever will be _and the only way she could ever catch his attention is to-

()()()()()()()()()

...Why did I even write this one. I don't even know how this popped into my head.

...Anorexia and bulimia are bad things. I'm coming from personal experience here. Don't do it.


	6. Giggle

He loves the Pretty Girl. That's all she knows. He loves the Pretty Girl, and she loves him and the Pretty Girl loves another boy, but He always ignores her and instead chases after the Pretty Girl, the one who always laughs in His face when he tries to get close to her, the one who always chases after the other boy like a lovesick _bitch _and it'shardit'shardit's_hard _to see Him look so disappointed when the Pretty Girl runs away from him, and she is alwaysalways_always _there when he does get rejected, but he never notices her and every time he looks at her it's like he's looking right through her because if he actually _saw _her he would know how she felt, and it wouldn't have come down to this...

Kissing His cheek softly, she let his body lean on her as she continues to read her book, happily humming all the while, ignoring the pages of her book slowly turning red from the blood that continues to weep out of his cut throat. Giggling, she looks to the sky, wondering why she hadn't thought of this sooner.

Oh well.

At least she could spend the rest of her life together with him.

()()()()()()()()()

O.O ...I don't know where I came up with that, but you have to admit, nobody really knows what's running about through that head of hers, am I right?


	7. Smart

Lazy. Stupid. Uncaring. Those are all words that people use to describe him, words that are used within earshot of him, because they all think that he is too stupid and doesn't care at all how people think of him. They think that they can just say something like that and get away with it because _he doesn't care _about what people think of him, you doesn't give a damn that he is disappointing his parents and family and ancestors and he won't get anywhere in life because he is too busy staring at those _goddamn clouds_ to care about what will happen to him later in life.

Or, at least, that's what _they _all think.

They don't think he would ever be the one smart enough to figure out how to rig a power line so that the next time someone leans against it, the whole thing will come down, crashing into the water tower and knocking it over, immediately shocking those within a mile of it, starting hundreds of small fires that will eventually turn into one large inferno of heat and death. They don't think he would ever stand on top of the Hokage mountain, a small smile on his face as your hear the screams and wails of everyone being burnt to a crisp, not giving a damn when he sees his own parents knocked to the ground and immediately being swallowed up by the flames.

Because he wouldn't do that.

Right?


	8. Fair

Fat. That's all anybody ever sees of him, all that passes through their heads. They don't see the supposed sweet inside that he has, or the kind heart that his father insists that he has, but he doesn't believe him, because if he really _does _have a kind heart, then why does he want everyone to die? Why does he want everyone to screamandbleedandsuffer and hurt like he has all his life? Why does he want everyone to feel the same pain that he has, to know the feeling of being sheltered behind lies all his life until he got old enough to climb over, but once he did he saw how people really were, how disgustingandcruelandsickening they were, but he couldn't climb back over the wall of lies, back to safety, because he was too fat, too stupid to make it back? The only thing he can do is listen to their whispers and jeers and taunts, hear his "friends" start to insult him, but are stopped by his teacher because they don't want _his precious feelings hurt. _

So why doesn't he do it? Make them all screamandbleedandsuffer like he has, make them hurt like he has, make them go through the agonies and hell he has? He has the knife in his hands, he can do it, nothing is stopping him, no one _can _stop him from doing this.

After all, it's only fair, isn't it?


	9. Invisible

People seem to look right through him, almost as if he isn't really there at all, like he is a window and they are trying to see through to what is on the other side of him, not caring about the window itself.

But that's the way he likes it. He _likes _not having to deal with all those people like everyone else has to, he _likes _just stepping back and watching the fireworks, not caring if anyone will ever see him, because, even if they do, they are bound to forget about him soon enough.

He tends to have that effect on people.

But sometimes he wonders what it would be like to have someone actually notice him, someone actually come up and _talk to him, _not just look around him for their friends or someone else. He wonders what it would feel like for someone to actually remember him for once, someone actually take notice of him and actually respond to something he says.

So tonight, while the loud dog-boy and shy girl are all sleeping, he will set up for a night that _no one _will _ever _forget.

Smiling to himself, he thinks out loud, surprised when his voice cracks from lack of use.

"The fireworks will be lovely tonight, won't they?"


	10. Righteous

You want to be more than just "that-boy-with-a-dog." You want to be thought of as a great shinobi, someone who could quite possibly become Hokage someday, someone who can fight _without _a dog.

You don't want your dog to control your life. Every time you go out somewhere, whether to the market or to the training grounds, if your dog isn't with you, the first thing _anybody _will say to you is "Hey, where's your dog?"

They don't give a damn about you, the dogs are the special ones, the ones that can smell better and hunt better and run faster than you can, the only ones that seem worthy of appreciation.

But you want to be appreciated. You want someone to say "Oh, good job!" to you and to you _alone, _not "Oh, you and your dog did a good job!" You want somebody to recognize _you. _

So that's why you are doing this. That's why you are slipping a little bit of wolfsbane into the dogs' water tonight. You aren't doing this just for yourself. Your whole family has been overshadowed by their dogs. You're doing this to _help _everyone else as well.

After all, the dogs should be controlled by their masters, not the other way around, right?

Then this is righteous.


	11. Quiet

Every time. Every goddamn time you try to go out on a mission. It starts out well, the two boys ignoring each other at first, the blonde trying to get the attention of the pink-haired girl, who in turn is trying to get the attention of the raven-headed boy, who ignores everyone. It goes fine, until the blonde idiot ignites the wrath of the black-haired boy, which in turn causes the girl to get mad at him.

And the _noise _that they make.

You can't _stand _the noise. You've always hated it, always trying to get them to be quiet whenever they get particularly loud. The blonde always ignores you, however, and instead becomes even louder and louder, which causes the other two to join in, and then…

Then it all falls to shit.

Well, usually.

This time was different.

Their task was no different than any other, just a simple mission to deliver a few scrolls to another village a few miles away. You insisted that everyone else carries the scrolls, so that you could defend them if someone else were to attack.

They agreed, not believing that the one to attack them would be their own teacher.

None of them saw it coming, not the girl, whose scream of fear was cut short when her throat was ripped out, not the blonde boy, who had roared in anger when he saw the girl fall, only to fall himself when a clone of you had appeared out of nowhere and stabbed him in the spine.

The raven-haired boy was the only one you left, standing in a pool of his teammates' blood, staring in shock at your retreating back. He would most likely have nightmares for the rest of his life.

You didn't care, though.

It was finally quiet.


End file.
